8 Strategies to Feel Better When You’re Having a Bad Day

What is emotional intelligence and why you need it to build the life you want.
January 23, 2018
What are Emotions and Feelings? Are you using them or are they using you?
February 22, 2018

8 STARTegies to Feel Better When You’re Having a Bad Day

How you can press the reset button on unpleasant emotions and turn your day around.



Have you ever had those days where you just get up on the wrong side of the bed? Where one bad or unpleasant thing happens and then the rest of your day gets messed up?

Maybe you got up late and everything else got delayed? You got to work late. You missed a meeting and that meeting was with the president and CEO of the company...great!

Maybe you did everything right. You got up at the usual time but then someone crashed into you on the way to work and suddenly you're not able to do whatever you had planned to do that day. So you spend the entire day in a bad mood still thinking about that incident that set everything in motion.

Has something like that ever happened to you?

What if I told you that you have the ability to press a reset button on how you feel in situations like those? What if I told you that you can turn your day around? Would you like to learn how to do that?

In this article, I will share with you the strategies or STARTegies that I use in order to reset my day whenever things don't go as expected. Before I share that with you, it's important to have a clear understanding of the following truths of life:

  1. Anything happening outside of yourself is completely out of your control. Someone else's actions, someone else's thoughts, the weather, politics....all of that and much more: not your fault.
  2. No one is perfect. If something was within your control and you still messed up, then learn to forgive yourself so you can move on. Beating yourself up constantly will only make you feel worse and will hurt your performance and quality of life.
  3. You have the ability to change your state quickly. You can go from slouching to sitting up straight. From sitting to standing. From standing to running. From short breaths to longer breaths. If you think about it, this is like a superpower we don’t use enough…
  4. Everything and anything that we experience, good, bad, or neither provides us an opportunity to learn. In fact, think about a time when you experienced the most growth. Was it a time where you were winning and everything was easy? Or was it a time where maybe you failed and had to get back up? For a lot of us, the most life-changing experiences have been those where we have failed or those where we have experienced a great deal of difficulty and pain. What we feel depends on how we choose to look at things and the choice is entirely ours.
  5. The only thing standing between you and a better day is one decision. If you decide you don’t have time for a bad day, then you will do what it takes to turn it around.

It’s important for your emotional fitness goals to truly understand and apply these 5 truths. Understanding them will prime your mind to be proactive instead of reactive when unpleasant things happen in your day.

Now, if you or someone you know is having one of those days right now and you decide to turn that around, I have 8 "on the spot" STARTegies that have worked for me in shifting my emotional state and turning my day around:

  1. Imagine things happening much worse than they did. This will set off a feeling of gratitude in you. Gratitude is one of the most high frequency and beneficial emotions there are because when you're truly grateful, you can't also, for example, be angry. Go ahead and try being really grateful and angry at the same time and you'll see what I mean.
  2. Take 10 deep breaths counting backward. Count your breaths backward from 10 to 1 and when you get to number 1 you'll notice you will feel more relaxed. The first thing that changes when we become agitated is our breathing pattern. Shorter breaths make us feel even more irritated, angry, and anxious. Also, less oxygen gets to our brains and that's never a good thing...
  3. Ask yourself questions: What did I need to learn from this situation? What about it made me feel or react this way? Was it fear? Was it anxiety? What meaning am I giving this situation and can I find a better meaning that's more beneficial to my health?
  4. Hug someone. The act of hugging causes the release of oxytocin which is considered a happiness hormone. If hugging is too much for you, shake someone's hand and smile at them. Oxytocin has been directly linked to reducing pain, reducing stress, and it even helps you lose weight! Honestly, it deserves an entire video because of all its benefits and I will probably create one soon. For now, remember this: hugging someone = release of oxytocin. Release of oxytocin = a happier, skinnier and healthier you. So stop whatever you're doing and hug someone!
  5. Engage with someone you love. This will normally be people but, if you're just not a people person, it could be your pet! I say engage because, if it’s a person, that person may or may not be near you. If you can't hug them, call them! I personally find children most effective because of their innocence and light. When I FaceTime my 4-year old nephew, all my troubles go away. And this is because what I feel for him is pure love. Love without judgement or expectations. The simple fact he exists is more than enough for me to feel happy and grateful. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is true love. So find that person or pet who gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling and spread the love!
  6. Give. Give. Give. When terrible things happen to us, we tend to put ourselves in a victim state. Whyyyy me?! Why does this always happen to me?! And next thing you know, everything becomes about you and how helpless you are. To immediately regain control of your own life, do something that no one else can control except you. For example, give someone a compliment. Help someone cross the street. Help a colleague in need. Pay for the food of the person or family in the car behind you at the drive-through. This will take you out of your self-pity party and also help you release more happiness hormones because you're doing something good for someone else. This, by the way, has already been proven by science and you can find a ton of research on it doing a simple google search. So remember to give!
  7. Change your physical state. If you’re slouching, straighten your back. If you’re sitting, stand for a few minutes and stretch your shoulders upwards and backward. This allows more air to flow into your lungs. You can also stand in a Superwoman or Superman pose. Science has proven that doing this for 2 minutes increases testosterone and, by extension, confidence.

    Another way to change your physical state is to walk, run, or do some kind of exercise. I find walks to be quite relaxing. If you're at work, get up and go talk to one of your colleagues. Give yourself bonus points for helping her or him with something personal or work-related.

    Another thing you can do is shake that booty! I actually learned this one from Joseph McClendon III at Tony Robbin's Unleash the Power Within seminar and it blew my mind. Turns out you can't shake your booty and also have a grin on your face! So now you know, if you get into a little fender bender, simply step out of the car and shake that booty!

  8. Use the five second rule. I learned this one from Mel Robbins in her book "The Five Second Rule." When you catch yourself having thoughts that don't help you, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and quickly switch to a thought that's more beneficial. Now, this is only one application of this rule but you can apply it to many, many more things. If you can't read the book, check out any of her videos on YouTube about the Five Second Rule. This alone, could really change your life.

So there you have it! My 8 STARTegies to turn a bad day into a GREAT one!

I personally have gotten incredible results from using these techniques but I'm sure you have others that also work. If you do, I’d love for you to share them with me and our community so we can all continue to learn from each other!

Always remember: your best self is already within you and you can uncover it by knowing, loving, and being your most authentic self each day!

8 STARTegies to Feel Better When You’re Having a Bad Day

How you can press the reset button on unpleasant emotions and turn your day around.



Have you ever had those days where you just get up on the wrong side of the bed? Where one bad or unpleasant thing happens and then the rest of your day gets messed up?

Maybe you got up late and everything else got delayed? You got to work late. You missed a meeting and that meeting was with the president and CEO of the company...great!

Maybe you did everything right. You got up at the usual time but then someone crashed into you on the way to work and suddenly you're not able to do whatever you had planned to do that day. So you spend the entire day in a bad mood still thinking about that incident that set everything in motion.

Has something like that ever happened to you?

What if I told you that you have the ability to press a reset button on how you feel in situations like those? What if I told you that you can turn your day around? Would you like to learn how to do that?

In this article, I will share with you the strategies or STARTegies that I use in order to reset my day whenever things don't go as expected. Before I share that with you, it's important to have a clear understanding of the following truths of life:

  1. Anything happening outside of yourself is completely out of your control. Someone else's actions, someone else's thoughts, the weather, politics....all of that and much more: not your fault.
  2. No one is perfect. If something was within your control and you still messed up, then learn to forgive yourself so you can move on. Beating yourself up constantly will only make you feel worse and will hurt your performance and quality of life.
  3. You have the ability to change your state quickly. You can go from slouching to sitting up straight. From sitting to standing. From standing to running. From short breaths to longer breaths. If you think about it, this is like a superpower we don’t use enough…
  4. Everything and anything that we experience, good, bad, or neither provides us an opportunity to learn. In fact, think about a time when you experienced the most growth. Was it a time where you were winning and everything was easy? Or was it a time where maybe you failed and had to get back up? For a lot of us, the most life-changing experiences have been those where we have failed or those where we have experienced a great deal of difficulty and pain. What we feel depends on how we choose to look at things and the choice is entirely ours.
  5. The only thing standing between you and a better day is one decision. If you decide you don’t have time for a bad day, then you will do what it takes to turn it around.

It’s important for your emotional fitness goals to truly understand and apply these 5 truths. Understanding them will prime your mind to be proactive instead of reactive when unpleasant things happen in your day.

Now, if you or someone you know is having one of those days right now and you decide to turn that around, I have 8 "on the spot" STARTegies that have worked for me in shifting my emotional state and turning my day around:

  1. Imagine things happening much worse than they did. This will set off a feeling of gratitude in you. Gratitude is one of the most high frequency and beneficial emotions there are because when you're truly grateful, you can't also, for example, be angry. Go ahead and try being really grateful and angry at the same time and you'll see what I mean.
  2. Take 10 deep breaths counting backward. Count your breaths backward from 10 to 1 and when you get to number 1 you'll notice you will feel more relaxed. The first thing that changes when we become agitated is our breathing pattern. Shorter breaths make us feel even more irritated, angry, and anxious. Also, less oxygen gets to our brains and that's never a good thing...
  3. Ask yourself questions: What did I need to learn from this situation? What about it made me feel or react this way? Was it fear? Was it anxiety? What meaning am I giving this situation and can I find a better meaning that's more beneficial to my health?
  4. Hug someone. The act of hugging causes the release of oxytocin which is considered a happiness hormone. If hugging is too much for you, shake someone's hand and smile at them. Oxytocin has been directly linked to reducing pain, reducing stress, and it even helps you lose weight! Honestly, it deserves an entire video because of all its benefits and I will probably create one soon. For now, remember this: hugging someone = release of oxytocin. Release of oxytocin = a happier, skinnier and healthier you. So stop whatever you're doing and hug someone!
  5. Engage with someone you love. This will normally be people but, if you're just not a people person, it could be your pet! I say engage because, if it’s a person, that person may or may not be near you. If you can't hug them, call them! I personally find children most effective because of their innocence and light. When I FaceTime my 4-year old nephew, all my troubles go away. And this is because what I feel for him is pure love. Love without judgement or expectations. The simple fact he exists is more than enough for me to feel happy and grateful. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is true love. So find that person or pet who gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling and spread the love!
  6. Give. Give. Give. When terrible things happen to us, we tend to put ourselves in a victim state. Whyyyy me?! Why does this always happen to me?! And next thing you know, everything becomes about you and how helpless you are. To immediately regain control of your own life, do something that no one else can control except you. For example, give someone a compliment. Help someone cross the street. Help a colleague in need. Pay for the food of the person or family in the car behind you at the drive-through. This will take you out of your self-pity party and also help you release more happiness hormones because you're doing something good for someone else. This, by the way, has already been proven by science and you can find a ton of research on it doing a simple google search. So remember to give!
  7. Change your physical state. If you’re slouching, straighten your back. If you’re sitting, stand for a few minutes and stretch your shoulders upwards and backward. This allows more air to flow into your lungs. You can also stand in a Superwoman or Superman pose. Science has proven that doing this for 2 minutes increases testosterone and, by extension, confidence.

    Another way to change your physical state is to walk, run, or do some kind of exercise. I find walks to be quite relaxing. If you're at work, get up and go talk to one of your colleagues. Give yourself bonus points for helping her or him with something personal or work-related.

    Another thing you can do is shake that booty! I actually learned this one from Joseph McClendon III at Tony Robbin's Unleash the Power Within seminar and it blew my mind. Turns out you can't shake your booty and also have a grin on your face! So now you know, if you get into a little fender bender, simply step out of the car and shake that booty!

  8. Use the five second rule. I learned this one from Mel Robbins in her book "The Five Second Rule." When you catch yourself having thoughts that don't help you, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and quickly switch to a thought that's more beneficial. Now, this is only one application of this rule but you can apply it to many, many more things. If you can't read the book, check out any of her videos on YouTube about the Five Second Rule. This alone, could really change your life.

So there you have it! My 8 STARTegies to turn a bad day into a GREAT one!

I personally have gotten incredible results from using these techniques but I'm sure you have others that also work. If you do, I’d love for you to share them with me and our community so we can all continue to learn from each other!

Always remember: your best self is already within you and you can uncover it by knowing, loving, and being your most authentic self each day!

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